Friday, December 7, 2012

This is Me, Supplying You Poor Neglected Cyber-Readers With a Post.


That's a song, by the way. And yes, I know that Christmas is not for another *counts on fingers* 18 days? Or thereabouts. BUT!! Christmas Festival at our church is TOMORROW!!! 
*has an epic fit*

Ahem. Pardon me. But is so exciting!! Although I am a little terrified, because my dance studio's winter show is on Sunday. GAH! The stage! X(

Anywho. I shall treat you to some random snippets from a story you'll never read. 

Ziggy sat down wearily on his turtle, and watched the ant go marching one by one back to its uncomplicated, sorrow-free life.

  He was so busy watching, he didn't even notice Fizz until she landed in front of him, right on the ant.

  "STUPID ANT!!" she yelled, jumping up and down. When she finally ran out of energy, she collapsed onto a large rock beside Ziggy. They looked at each other, then at where the ant had been, then burst out laughing. 

 Glancing down, he snatched the paffles and flung them, one after the other, at Jiggly. Jiggly dropped to the ground as breakfast pastries went sailing over his head.

  Behind him, Miggy had just awoken and was yawning, his mouth wide open. He was astonished to find a still-warm paffle landing in his open mouth. He hesitated for a moment, uncertain if he should swallow it, and was rewarded with several more paffles to the face.

  He stopped, shrugged, decided that he could do with another 10 minutes of sleep and promptly fell back into his sleeping bag, the taste of paffle still lingering in his mouth. 

"Hey Jiggly." he said, "Why are you laughing evilly?"

  "SILENCE, YOU IMBICILE!!" Jiggly bellowed, then slunk creepily away, his legs bent in a position that was alarmingly difficult to stand in, much less slink in.

  Miggy stood there, dumbfounded, for a moment, then applauded Jiggly's amazing leg strength. "GIVE IT UP FOR THE SLINKY!" he shouted.

There, now! Wasn't that amusing? No? Then how about this Mad Lib?
First, the untouched product:
Words you'll need;
Last name of person in room
noun x2
plural noun x4
type of liquid
same last name
part of the body (plural)

The blank page;

It's here, the all-new Last name: the most luxurious noun  you'll ever drive! It's the only four-door noun  that comes equipped with dual air plural noun, power plural noun, and contoured, plush leather plural noun. And, believe it or not, it is the only car in its class that can go up to a hundred thousand plural noun without needing a type of liquid change of a noun tune-up. Run, do not verb , to your nearest same last name dealer and feast your part of the body (plural) on the car that Motor noun  magazine calls the adjective noun of the year. As always, we save the best for last: When you see the sticker price, you'll be sure to shout, "exclamation!"

Now, Dessy's and my version:

It's here, the all new Diddlesworth: the most luxurious fart you'll ever drive! It's the only four-door fanblade that comes equipped with dual air birthmarks, power buttocks, and contoured, plush leather spoons. And, believe it or not, it is the only car in its class that can go up to a hundred thousand faces without needing a whisky change or a bikini tune-up. Run, do not run, to your nearest Diddlesworth dealer and feast your biceps on the car that Motor Belly Button Magazine calls the female underthing of the year. As always, we save the best for last: When you see the sticker price, you'll be sure to shout, "I'm Batman!"

*cough* Well, no one ever said we were mature. And it's likely that no one ever will. ;) Ah, this Mad Libs book. The things it's seen! Or rather, heard. :P In fact, reading this particular Mad Libs book would be akin to reading our collective diary. Oh, the things you (the audience) will never know. ;)

OKAY! So, I hope this post was somewhat entertaining for you. If not, did you ever consider that your standards might be too high? Hmmm, yes. . . . Well, while you ponder that one, I'm going to. . . to. . . do something. . . important. Yes, important. Now. I'm going. Right now. I'm gone.

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