- Finish your point on an upbeat note...unless you can't think of one
- Don't patronize your reader--he or she might well be intelligent enough to spot it
- Avoid unnecessary examples. e.g. this one
- Similes are about as much use as a chocolate teapot.
- Mixed metaphors can kill two birds without a paddle.
- Take care with pluri.
- If you can't think of the word you have in mind, look it up in one of those dictionary-type thingies.
- Do you really think people are impressed with rhetorical questions?
- Sarcasm--yes, I bet that will go down really well.
- Less is more. This means that a short, cryptic statement is often preferable to an accurate, but drawn out, explanation that lacks punch and loses the reader.
- Many readers assume that a word will not assume two meanings within the same sentence.
- Some early drafts of this document had had clumsy juxtapositions
- If there's a word on the tip of your tongue that you can't quite pin down, use a cinnamon.
- Strangely enough it is impossible to construct a sentence that illustrates the meaning of the word 'irony.'
- Practice humility until you're really sure you have it down.
- There is no place for overemphasis whatsoever.
And there you have it, folks! Follow those directions, and you'll soon have a story that makes no sense in any way. :D
If you look in the "Our Favorite Quotes" sidebar, you'll see some interesting sentences, one of them being "I never met a man so big he can't hide behind a plane!!" . If I was you, I'd be curious as to what in the world that was from. Well, I'll tell you. It's from this AWESOME show that I've mentioned numerous times before, called Psych. I won't go into details, suffice to say, it's a new definition of funny, if you like friendly banter, randomness, and pineapples. Anyway, the specific episode that sentence was from is in season 4, episode 10, called "You Can't Handle This Episode." It stars John Cena, if you know who that is. Here's a pic to jog your memory:
He's that rather large man on the right, there. Oh, my. He's the one who was too big to hide behind a plane, FYI. The guy on the left trying unsuccessfully to look tough is the co-star of Psych, James Roday, aka Shawn Spencer. Ah, Shawn. X)
You know what I think? I'll tell you. I think they should do an episode of Psych where Shawn goes blind. If you didn't know, he's like Sherlock Holmes, Patrick Jane in the Mentalist, and Monk, meaning he notices the teensy tiny details and figures stuff out from that. In the Mentalist, Monk, AND this old show we're watching called Hawaii 5-0, the star characters have all gone blind (temporarily, of course) for an ep. In the Mentalist and Hawaii 5-0, the character was caught in the blast of an exploding car, and in Monk, he had a bucket of acid thrown in his face. Of course, they all coped with their blindness and solved the case anyway but it was more INTENSE!! So I think it might be kind of awesome if they did something like that. But then again, maybe they already have. I mean, I haven't seen the 6th season yet, and apparently they've already started the 7th? or they will soon. Anyway, we'll see. . . . . ;)